Alright children. We all know that PROM is quickly approaching. Why do I use all caps? ‘Cause it’s kind of a big deal, at least for the majority of high school students. The first thing anyone thinks of when they think of a high school dance, PROM has long been a staple of high school life as THE dance. Even if you haven’t gone to any dances since you started your high school career, you still get weird looks if you tell anyone you aren’t going to PROM.

Think of any high school movie you’ve ever seen, and PROM is at the very least mentioned in every single one of them. It’s important enough for me to write a highly unimportant article about anyway. In my further writings about PROM, I’m going to lay off the caps lock. It may be cruise control to cool, but I’m not exactly cool anyway, so it doesn’t rightly matter.

Anyway, it’s not uncommon to see all kinds of different invitations, whether it be in person or on Facebook, of people asking other people to prom. So act fast before somebody steals your idea. Every original thought has already been thought of, so hurry up and make your move before the novelty wears off. Also, you got to know your intended date. So for example, my girlfriend hates public displays of affection. So blazing “ASHLEY WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?!?” across my column might not be as well received as an invitation personally tailored to her individual tastes. In fact, that might get me hit, but this has already hit the presses so it’s far too late now.

In any case, you need to be prepared for prom. I’m talking to you fellas, now’s a bad time to find out you’re too broke to afford all the clichéd prom amenities. If you’re that guy, go get a job or rob a bank or something, because you need cash desperately. Even the biggest tom boy in the world (you know who you are) wants to be a princess for her prom, and gentlemen, it’s our job to accomplish that goal. I’m talking fancy suits/tuxedos, limos, flowers, the freaking works. Hold doors open, take jackets, the whole nine yards. If there was ever a day to be civilized, prom is that day. Just make sure she has fun, ‘cause it doesn’t matter if you do.